Why people don't get what they want?

Here is a story of a three-year-old girl and his father. Every morning, the little girl used to wake up and the first thing she asked her dad was “Papa, can you play with me? You can go to office after you play with me”. As soon as he returned home from a long day of work, she used to ask “ Papa, can you play with me now?” Finally before going to bed she used to ask one more time “Papa can you play with one last time today?”

Most often the father used to find an excuse of not playing with his little girl, but every now and then he used to fulfill her wish. The little girl’s success rate may not be incredible but it is much better than most grown ups. Have you ever wondered why? 

The answer is as simple as it gets; people just don't try hard enough. Perseverance is only the quality that distinguishes winners from losers. You need to try just one more time to be successful. Thomas Edison is famous for saying “Many of life’s failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” This world is full of amazing stories of people who achieved the impossible just through sheer perseverance.

People get bored very quickly. Have you even seen a mouse running on a rolling wheel, equivalent to a treadmill for humans. The mouse can run for hours everyday without getting bored, even though the mouse has no explicit motive to run unlike humans. Scientists have defined boredom as “an aversive state of wanting, but being unable, to engage in satisfying activity”. In simple terms, humans have a tendency to let their brain’s attention network corrode. 

People like short cuts. Yes the world is unfair. There are few extremely successful people (the definition of success itself calls for another post but we will leave that for another day) who have achieved success due to sheer luck, but that is the reason we introduced the word “outlier” in dictionary, and let me tell you there are few outliers in this world. There is just no way to become a role model without taking that long and uphill road of perseverance and hard work.

The next reason is the most shocking but most prevailing in the modern society. People don't even try because they are educated to adhere to the societal norms, to act within boundaries of limitations, to stop chasing the stars and to be practical rather than passionate. These ideas and beliefs are deep rooted in our education system, and we teach them to our kids every day. Mathematics and science is top of the hierarchy in every education system irrespective of the interest and passion of a person. We constantly thrive to produce more teachers, doctors and scientists even though our daily life is influenced by music, art, food, design etc that has nothing to do with science and math. This education system overtime not only kills creativity but also passion in most people. Passion provides the energy to focus on what excites you. You are nothing more than a headless chicken without passion.

The last reason, as naïve as it may sound, is lack of faith. Belief is the fuel for your dreams and every act to achieve those dreams. Let me tell you a story as told by Azim Premji, founder of Wipro.

An eight-year-old child heard her parents talking about her little brother. All she knew was that he was very sick and they had no money left. They were moving to a smaller house because they could not afford to stay in the present house after paying the doctor’s bills. Only a very costly surgery could save him now and there was no one to loan them the money.

When she heard daddy say to her tearful mother with whispered desperation, ‘Only a miracle can save him now’, the child went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured all the change out on the floor and counted it carefully.

Clutching the precious jar tightly, she slipped out the back door and made her way six blocks to the local drug Store. She took a quarter from her jar and placed it on the glass counter. “And what do you want?” asked the pharmacist. “It’s for my little brother,” the girl answered back. “He’s really, really sick and I want to buy a miracle.”

“I beg your pardon?” said the pharmacist.

“His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my daddy says only a miracle can save him. So how much does a miracle cost?”

“We don’t sell miracles here, child. I’m sorry,” the pharmacist said, smiling sadly at the little girl.

“Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn’t enough, I can try and get some more. Just tell me how much it costs.”

In the shop was a well-dressed customer. He stooped down and asked the little girl, “What kind of a miracle does you brother need?”

“I don’t know,” she replied with her eyes welling up. “He’s really sick and mommy says he needs an operation. But my daddy can’t pay for it, so I have brought my savings”. “How much do you have?” asked the man. “One dollar and eleven cents, but I can try and get some more”, she answered barely audibly.

“Well, what a coincidence,” smiled the man. “A dollar and eleven cents — the exact price of a miracle for little brothers.” He took her money in one hand and held her hand with the other. He said, “Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let’s see if I have the kind of miracle you need.”

That well-dressed man was Dr Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed without charge and it wasn’t long before Andrew was home again and doing well.

“That surgery,” her mom whispered, “was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?” The little girl smiled. She knew exactly how much the miracle cost - one dollar and eleven cents plus the faith of a little child.