Before you get furious from the headline of this blog, let me tell you that I don’t perceive women as superficial or gold-diggers chasing rich guys. Neither is my intention to portray women as such nor am I rich enough to make that statement. I’m not trying to prove any point or making these comments from my personal experience. It may be a very complex issue that depends on extremely personal interest and I may be unsuccessfully trying to oversimplify it.
The fact that women prefer security over love can be understood by the fact that genetically and behaviorally men and women are designed for different purposes. Nature wants male species to propagate its seeds as wide as possible and so men are overly generous to engage in casual relationships and sex without thinking about the future. Female species, on the other hand, has to bear the consequences of begetting a child; so she is programmed to seek security. This is probably also the reason why men engage in more casual encounters and infidelity than women, who prefers long lasting relationship.
Most women would disagree with the fact that they prefer financial security over love because it doesn’t sound right morally. There is nothing to dispise about it though. Women probably aren’t looking for the richest guys out there, but their million-dollar-wanting heart is definitely looking for guys who can provide a good lifestyle for rest of her life.
We have all heard about the argument “Money doesn’t bring happiness, love does”. Though this statement holds true in a utopian world when men and nature lived in perfect harmony, and men’s needs were few and desires limited. In the new golden age, it is almost the opposite, so even though money can’t bring happiness directly, it can definitely make the journey to contentment easier. It provides women with the freedom from bills, daily chores and all the drama related to it. Probably it is one of the reasons that arranged marriages around the world have had a higher success rates than “love” marriages as element of security has already been factored into the relationship.
Some women have told me that it depends on the time and age, which may be true. In many cases, women over 40 are career oriented or have inherited family wealth; they wouldn’t care about financial security as much as women in their 30s. However there are reports (including the infamous Newsweek article) that claim that women that are not married by 40 wouldn’t marry forever. We can leave this aside as a separate topic of discussion for another day. Even if an affluent woman did seek a partner, she would be looking more for emotional security than financial; someone who is atleast an equal match to her.
I do agree that it is not always “either security or love” situation. There is always a problem when you select a partner just for money or love, and such relationships always end up at a junction that leads to two different roads.
Women are wise and they know that the probability of making her rich man fall in love is much higher than making her lover boy rich over time.
I believe that most women chose love over anything else when they chose their life partner. I am currently on vacation in Cancun and I see here lots of beautiful loving couples who spend their vacation together in this lovely hotel. Today a beautiful American couple from Washington told me that they got married four years ago in this hotel and that they have invited thirty five friends to celebrate their wedding.
ReplyDeleteAny woman would like her man to take care of her, it does not mean that a guy has to be rich. If he has a good job he will definitely be able to take his woman to a nice holiday, take her to nice romantic places and buy her little things she craves for.
From what I have seen many times I can tell that rich guys are very often obsessed with their possessions and do not want to share them with anybody else. While a young man would do and give anything he has for the woman he loves. And it is much more precious, at least for me, when my man shares all he has, even if he has not much, with me. This kind of treatment made me fall in love with my ex boyfriend.
And do you do that for him in return? 2 sided coin no?
DeleteI found this blog by accident but I agree with it. I was looking for a quote from the movie "Appaloosa" with Ed Harris and Vigo Mortenssen. In the movie Vigo's character fall in love with his boss and best friend's (Harris) girlfriend and there's a scene where Vigo's is in a brothel with a hooker and the dialogue goes something like this.
ReplyDeleteVigo (asking the hooker): Do you think she can love me?
And the hooker replies: You men and your LOVE. Women don't want love, all we want is security.
I know most marriages break up because of financial problems so this phrase sounded very true to me, I would never say that all women are like this but I think there are just as many women who prefer security over love that there are who prefer the opposite.
In the end we, humans, want and look for what we don't have now; or what we didn't have growing up.
Interesting but grossly incorrect and very sexist. I am male, and do not wish to "spread my seed as widely as possible". Never have, never will.
ReplyDelete