How best to describe investment banking industry is a million dollar question? Is it a roller coaster ride that makes you feel jittery as it goes up, like you cant breathe without screaming but still smiling, it is scary yet fun, an adrenaline rush; or is it like playing a video game where losing to your competitor bestows the darkest reputation, where winning is everything and where you constantly strive to move to the next level?
I think investment banking is nothing more than a number game and every person part of this industry is a number as well. If you are a banker, your only identity is a number; it can be the bonus number, the grade number, stock options number, the profitability number, the head count number or the pink slip number. You are a headcount, you are a cost, and you are a money-making machine. You are everything but human.
In a good year, you are million-dollar something and in bad times you are a cost that needs to be cut. In recent times, many banks around the world have been “cutting cost” to keep the bottom line profitable. It is very cyclical process and anyone who has worked in this industry for few years has been part of it, either as a player or a spectator.
On a chop-chop day, there is a pin-drop silence in the office. It’s like watching a suspense thriller when you are scared to death but do not want to be the first one to scream. Then your phone rings and you are called into a meeting room; the room that you never knew existed. You meet the HR person; the person that you never knew worked at your firm. You are given the same standard old crap; the crap that you have heard or told many times. If someone could echo your mind in the room, it would go like this: "You have been a valuable part of this firm” (right, what you do know of value?), "Times are tough and company has no other choice" (why aren’t you fired, you do nothing valuable), "I’m sure you understand” (jeez, I just paid for my new Porsche) etc. I think you can pretty much write a standard script and let a robot read it out. Then you are given the magic number, something called "severance package" and the HR strikes off one more number from the list.
For the next few months, central banks around the world comes together to save the doomed world. Money is printed so that banks can make money. Banks become extremely bullish and everyone starts fighting to hire everyone on the street. Head hunters are calling the same person they placed two months ago. Anyone who walks in for an interview walks out with a job offer. Everyone gets hired, and rehired, with bigger dreams than they ever dreamt. They all start buying million dollar villas, fancy suits, expensive cars and flashing their business cards to girls in bars. It’s as cyclical as it can get.
"Its all about bucks kid, the rest is all conversation".
I think investment banking is nothing more than a number game and every person part of this industry is a number as well. If you are a banker, your only identity is a number; it can be the bonus number, the grade number, stock options number, the profitability number, the head count number or the pink slip number. You are a headcount, you are a cost, and you are a money-making machine. You are everything but human.
In a good year, you are million-dollar something and in bad times you are a cost that needs to be cut. In recent times, many banks around the world have been “cutting cost” to keep the bottom line profitable. It is very cyclical process and anyone who has worked in this industry for few years has been part of it, either as a player or a spectator.
On a chop-chop day, there is a pin-drop silence in the office. It’s like watching a suspense thriller when you are scared to death but do not want to be the first one to scream. Then your phone rings and you are called into a meeting room; the room that you never knew existed. You meet the HR person; the person that you never knew worked at your firm. You are given the same standard old crap; the crap that you have heard or told many times. If someone could echo your mind in the room, it would go like this: "You have been a valuable part of this firm” (right, what you do know of value?), "Times are tough and company has no other choice" (why aren’t you fired, you do nothing valuable), "I’m sure you understand” (jeez, I just paid for my new Porsche) etc. I think you can pretty much write a standard script and let a robot read it out. Then you are given the magic number, something called "severance package" and the HR strikes off one more number from the list.
For the next few months, central banks around the world comes together to save the doomed world. Money is printed so that banks can make money. Banks become extremely bullish and everyone starts fighting to hire everyone on the street. Head hunters are calling the same person they placed two months ago. Anyone who walks in for an interview walks out with a job offer. Everyone gets hired, and rehired, with bigger dreams than they ever dreamt. They all start buying million dollar villas, fancy suits, expensive cars and flashing their business cards to girls in bars. It’s as cyclical as it can get.
"Its all about bucks kid, the rest is all conversation".
Reminds me of Mr.Gekko from Wallstreet:
“How much is enough”
“It’s not a question of enough, pal. It’s a zero sum game, somebody wins, somebody looses. Money itself isn’t lost or made, it’s simply transferred from one perception to another”
Here is another interesting story from the fascinating world of investment banking about a girl who switched to exotic dancing post-Lehman collapse.
http://hereisthecity.com/2012/02/16/investment-banker-to-exotic-dancer-chapter-1/
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